Love is Alive, I am a Bystander.

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love”

– Albert Einstein

My summer/ autumn occupation consists of me synchronized serving and catering to the every need of wedding guests at a local five star Relais & Chateux.  I was a fly on the wall to the first dance, the toasts, as well as the other cherished moments of a bride and grooms’ first evening together as husband and wife.  I have seen a sister of the bride allow her beer tears to take the front seat over her seemingly well-written speech for the crowd, concluding with her giving up and sitting back in her chair.  I have witnessed a best man ramble on in his thick British accent for forty-five minutes about his drinking experiences with the groom, while referencing sex, drugs and rock n’roll, to the elder’s demise.   I have also seen dozens of speeches where the father of the bride, voice stuttering and fingers trembling, constantly loses his place and reads over the same paragraph several times, while the guests cringe or weep along with him.

Despite the light hearted and sometimes rather comical moments of a wedding party, there are others, which lead me to bite my bottom lip and mentally remove myself from the picture, otherwise I would be balling my eyes out- perhaps more than the guests.  It is a strange thing to be faced with people absolutely in love with each other on a constant basis, meaning, every time I go to work.  You watch the way they gaze into each other’s eyes and whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ears.  The couples rub each other’s backs and pull their chests in close, with no reservations every time they want the other partner near.  They smile and sway, looking longingly out across the deep blue sea surrounding the Chalet, as the orange sun sets in the distance.  I stand there, keep in mind, looking absolutely un-chic in my penguin suit tux with my long blonde curls pulled back tight into a bun and feeling quiet un- in love.

Yet, as much as the words exchanged between married families are personal, I find myself completing engulfed in their emotional moments on a regular basis. It is the next minute when someone turns to me and hands me their dirty napkin.  Sometimes I wish I could go to the bathroom, throw on my satin blue party dress, slip on a pair of heels, let my hair go, and join the celebration.  For a girl in her early twenties, who has experienced her share of heartache, heartbreak, and heartlessness, these weddings represent something that I had come to deny on previous occasions.  Love is alive and well.